To the Most Important Guy in My Life

I love you, I really do. I have also contemplated throwing you into the lake with a couple anchors attached and watch you struggle. You have been there for me, you have laughed at me, you have seen me cry, and have even let me pluck your eyebrows.

You throw cups of water at me, and laugh at me when I trip and fall. You are also the first one to run and jump up when I actually get hurt or need something. When I left an old outpatient appointment one time crying he looked me dead in the face and said, “What happened in there? Do I need to kick someone’s ass?”.

Some of our conversations are as follows:

“Dude, you fucking suck at catching.”

“Maybe if you could throw a God damn ball worth shit.”

“You’re the one who just threw it in the fucking lake, go get it!”

“I’m gonna fall in….”

“….well, don’t.”


“Ewww that’s nasty! Nasty ass!”

“Shut up, it’s from that nasty drink.”

“Want some of my water?”

“Yeah, please.”

“Wanna go throw again?”

My brother is one of those shit heads I joke that I would gladly hand over in a heartbeat. Anyone who knows me knows that I would fight tooth and nail for any of my siblings without thinking twice. This year my brother started working for me, at first I was hesitant… Would he make it? Would he annoy the shit out of me?

The answer was inevitably, “YES”. We have laughed our asses off, yelled at each other, ignored each other and went paddle boarding together. When I was at work and got hurt, he was the first one to rush over, no hesitation at all.

He knows about my eating disorder, and we talk about it.

“So, why don’t you just go to outpatient for me today.”

“Will they feed me? Hell yeah, alright.”

When he goes up to the store he will get me an apple, or something, and keeps me in mind. We make jokes about how he can eat all of my starches and fat.

He called my ex a “total dumbass”. Him and I went out of town and I didn’t eat all day. My brother thought he was a complete idiot. “If that was you and I, there is no way I would let you go a whole day without eating. First of all, I’d be fucking starving, plus your ass has to eat.”

I also randomly left town a week or so ago after work, and headed to the beach. I stopped by my house, threw clothes at my brother, who shoved them in a bag. All that was left to do was drop him off at his house and I was good to leave for the beach. As I’m dropping him off at the house he looks at me and says, “So, no clue where you are going, but I threw your stuffed flamingo in your bag too.”

Damn, my brother knows me so well. 🙂


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