It has always been something. It may be grades and my academic performance, sports and how many shots I blocked in the goal, or how many times I ran the bases. It may be dependent on how I scored on a test.
My worth is directly correlated with how I performed or succeeded. When I talk about something I accomplished, it is always in a way that makes sure people understood I could have done better, just in case what I did isn’t up to their standards.
“Yeah, I tore my meniscus and ran the 15k. My time was a hair over an hour and a half… could have been better.” “Yeah, the average on the test was a 74, I got an 89. Wish it would have been an A.”
I need to work on this. By who’s standards? If running a 15k in the pouring rain was easy, more people would have been there. If everyone could get an 89 on the Biochemistry test then 74 wouldn’t have been the average.
I am my worst enemy and harshest critic. I’m not even sure who I am comparing myself too, besides everyone, and I can’t be everyone simultaneously… I can barely handle being “me” whoever that is.
But I immediately relate my performance and success to what I deserve and what I am worth. I want to be better, faster, smarter, thinner but stronger.
Well, now I have to get ready for my final presentation.
Practice being human & Trust the process