Teary Eyed and Dr. A

Here I sit in a coffee shop on campus, staring blankly at my chemistry lab report that I have barely began to touch.

Reflecting on yesterday morning when Dr. A nearly brought me to tears, and sitting here literally dreading lunch. Dr. A was the one I had lunch with about two weeks ago (you can probably already see what direction this is headed in), she saw me sitting in the lobby of one of the building yesterday morning. She came and sat down next to me at the same table and pretty bluntly just asked if I had been eating. I began to smile and nod, which quickly turned into me just shaking my head with a half attempt at a smile. This feels almost embarrassing to openly admit to somebody that no, I haven’t eaten. She offered up another lunch date and I thanked her for the offer, but I couldn’t Thursday, but possibly Friday might be an option. She made a comment that, “I’ll have to take you somewhere and have you load up on donuts.” I politely laughed at her attempt at a joke.

I gestured to my coffee and said “I have coffee.”  “I don’t think that counts. Is there cream init?” “No. If it is good coffee I’ll drink it black.” “Then no, it doesn’t count.” She began to walk away to face the day head on with her sweet personality, smile, and motherly affection.

Then, she turned around and came back. I had already began writing notes from a powerpoint for a quiz. “You know what, my husband and I made an awesome dinner last night and I brought it for lunch; grilled veggies with some ground up turkey. It was really good, and I will even give it to you if you will eat it.”  My defensive sassy side was starting to bubble up, quickly I shoved it aside and lying through my teeth I said, “Thank you so much, that is so sweet, but I’m ok, I’ll eat something on the way to work.”  “Ok, well eat something healthy today.”

I wasn’t sure if I should be pissed as hell because what I eat is none of anyone’s business, or be appreciative-ish, that she cared.  I guess when I open up to people, I shouldn’t be surprised when they have something to say. I got all teary eyed when she was walking away. That was so sweet of her, she was going to offer me her own lunch because she wanted me to eat. I have such a mental block over that. She is stuck at school, she was going to give me her lunch for the day, because she was concerned I wasn’t going to eat.

So anyway, I got home last night, and my best friend/roommate/sister-ish came in my room and we began to talk. She said, “I saw Dr. A at school, she mentioned getting lunch with you tomorrow.”  Well, shit. I guess I should have emailed her hours ago. So guess her and I are getting lunch today.

I don’t want to. I am not hungry, I feel sick. I want nothing to do with food. Lunch is going to be miserable. This wont be enjoyable, it is going to be a chore. She is a sweet heart though, and I am grateful for the people in my life.

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Teary Eyed and Dr. A

  1. Try not to think of it as so much of a “chore”, but rather a necessity. Food is fuel, and fuel is vital to all living things, no? Try to enjoy her company. It seems like she only has your best intentions at heart. I know how easy it can be to fall to the negatives of a meeting like this, but just remember that there are people who care about you and want what’s best for you and your well being. Hang in there sweetheart, you can do this. Conquer the negative committee that resides in your head. ❤️

    1. Thank you very much for this. I appreciate it. I did very much enjoy her company. I was eating grapes and after about the third time of her commenting on how good the rolls were I took one to humor her and picked at it. Overall it was really nice.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s