“I threw up yesterday at work, I’m going to call out.” Hah, oh that’s funny. Technically it isn’t a lie, but still.
Woke up today feeling awful, stomach hurt so bad, in such a slump. Looked in the mirror and just cried. Read a text message from someone who actually cares, just cried even harder “…you can rupture your throat with all the stomach acid you insist on bringing up your throat on a daily basis and you don’t give a shit.” Damn, the truth hurts, and she is spot on. I hate that while I’m hurting myself I am also hurting her. “I’m just your friend who wants desperately for you to get better so you DON’T die, but until you give a shit- none of his matters. You think it’s fun to fit into your 5th grade sister’s clothes, THAT my dear is just scary.” Granted, it was a skirt that was a little big on her, but still.
I talked to one of my guy friends yesterday. We were going to go to Atlanta, Asheville, somewhere, go explore, get into shenanigans, do something. He was drunk last night and still hasn’t responded to my messages. So I gave up.
I woke up, showered, had intentions of doing SOMETHING today, but can barely get myself out of bed. I’m in sweats and just laying in bed. I began to leave the house, got a couple miles down the road and turned around. The thermometer on my dash read 68 degrees F, yet my feet are freezing, my heat was on high and I just wanted to go back home. I looked cute for all of ten minutes. I hate just laying around the house, but I feel awful, I’m so damn cold, I hate myself so much, eating isn’t even an option today.
Think I’m gonna have another cup of coffee and go to bed.